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Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 months ago

Can I just use my thumb?

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Can I just use my thumb?

lemmy.world

Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 months ago
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  • nectar45@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    “Step 1: finger them till they cum”

  • Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    You don’t say?

    Also, why is getting a doctor step 6?

    • bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Why isn’t step 1 disconnecting them from the electricity?

    • Suffa@lemmy.wtf
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      2 months ago

      So you have time to violate them anally of course.

    • naeap@sopuli.xyz
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      2 months ago

      I think, don’t pouring anything down the patients throat should be pretty much a given, when he hasn’t breathing

      • DoubleSpace@lemm.ee
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        2 months ago

        Jimmy says his cousin used a Red Bull at a party he was at where some dude stopped breathing and it worked

      • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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        2 months ago

        So I shouldn’t pour paint into their mouth? How about bleach? Still no? Damnit.

        • Burninator05@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          I thought it was common knowledge that you shouldn’t pour bleach down an unconscious person’s throat until after you’ve managed to shove so much of your first up their ass that you can use them as boxing gloves.

          • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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            2 months ago

            This was my first out-loud laugh of the day. Cheers!

    • Oneser@lemm.ee
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      2 months ago

      Not sure if /s, but this could be from a time before phones were widely available and getting a doctor meant leaving the victim for a substantial amount of time.

  • chromeleon@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    “I swear, officer, I was trying to save his life!”

  • Naich@lemmings.world
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    2 months ago

    Anyone know a good way to fake electrocution?

  • some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org
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    2 months ago

    I’ll just get the doctor and let them jam their fingers in your ass. Should be entertaining to watch.

  • Cort@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    At least they put step 4 after step 2

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