I first joined the Brazilian Communist Party (PCB) in 2018, right after Bolsonaro’s election. I had been following members of the Communist Youth League (UJC) for a few years by then, but seeing Bolsonaro win made me realise I shouldn’t be waiting until I felt I was knowledgeable enough on Marxism-Leninist theory to join an organization. When PCB split in 2023, I left to join the newly formed Revolutionary Brazilian Communist Party. We’ve been doing a lot of good work, but I turned 30 last year and it made me thing a lot. I’m a Film graduate and I went to college because I wanted to be a screenwriter. The career path I expected before joining simply wasn’t realistic: it’s quite hard to get paid to write, you need to do a lot of writing in your free time and then try to sell it or get a public grant to build up your portfolio. And the time and energy I devoted to the party simply didn’t allow me enough free time to write as many projects per year as I need to if I want to make in this area. I graduated 10 years ago and, since then, I have made nothing. I started seeing the names of people I studied with in the credits of movies and TV shows and it made me feel like I’m behind. I’m not feeling great about quitting. There’s nothing wrong with taking a couple years to focus on yourself, but stepping away from something I dedicated myself to for long and in which I still strongly believe isn’t a trivial decision. It makes me feel selfish. I’m hoping I’ll be in a place where I can come back to militant work in two years or so.
I did the same bc of depression (but with the youth organisation bc you cant really join the party if youre under 30 here). I dont think anyone will think negative of this dont worry
Comrade, I went through something similar, being Brazilian and all. UJC too.
I took time to invest on myself. I needed to get better, both economically, mentally, academically, you name it. Taking time is not a problem, specially when life happens (or seems to be stuck).
I have some gripes on the Party and their Youth, so I don’t believe I’d go back, but I’m not abandoning Marxism-Leninism in any way, shape or form.
There’s nothing wrong with taking a couple years to focus on yourself
You said it. If you’re not okay, your output is not gonna be the best either, be it political, creative, or otherwise. Self-actualization is important, so if activism doesn’t cover it alone, it only makes sense to balance it out with other pursuits. And after all, revolutionary movies also need screenwriters.
