I call her like once a week AT MOST and it’s usually after she messages me asking how I am.
I don’t take initiative anymore cause literally every time I call her she tells me she’s busy and doesn’t have time to talk to me or it’s not a good time for her (it’s never a fucking good time for her).
She doesn’t even work she’s retired now but she’s constantly busy with taking care of her garden and doing renovations with my dad. And generally being his asswipe (she is the only one who cooks or cleans or plans or organizes anything, while they both worked their whole lives, to the point where she can’t leave my dad alone EVER because otherwise WHO WILL COOK FOR HIM and he throws a fucking tantrum, also he can’t FUCKING DRIVE and refuses to learn so my mom has to do that too ALL THE TIME)
Anyway even when she does message me she doesn’t care to talk on the phone cause she’s fucking busy. I’m their ONLY CHILD.
To top it all off my dad has recently gone fucking batshit insane. I mean he’s usually a fucking dick but lately he’s been unhinged as fuck because he has been drinking more. He’s literally constantly power tripping, yelling like a fucking maniac over the smallest shit, he’s fucking insufferable.
Sorry but my mom is a fucking moron and I don’t see her ever leaving him. God their lives are so fucking miserable. I’d rather die in a fucking ditch than end up with a POS abuser like my dad.
He also has some mental illness where everything has to be perfect, so instead of finishing their renovations in a year or two tops, so that my mom can have a FUCKING KITCHEN or a NORMAL PLACE TO SLEEP (she’s fucking old now, and has been slaving away for him her whole life) he has been taking 5 FUCKING YEARS for some basic renovations and he is NOWHERE NEAR FINISHED.
Also he is SUPER FRUGAL to the point where he is fucking miserable to live with and makes everyone’s life fucking worse except his own.
I’ve been having a lot of guilt about leaving this shithole country and leaving them behind to fucking die alone. As much as they’re pieces of shit they’re still my parents and at least my mom loves me in her own fucking demented way.
On the other hand what the fuck do I need to stay here for if I can’t even get them on the phone??? And they’ve never given a FUCK about my needs, feelings or what I want, they’ve never fucking supported me in ANYTHING. I’m so fucking pissed at life
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Sounds awful. You really aren’t obligated to have contact with them. Sounds like you want something from them that they can’t give you because they are too self centered.
Your mom might be a victim though and you could communicate via texts and try to help her.
If she messages you, and doesn’t want to talk on the phone, why don’t you just use text or email to check up on her? It sounds like maybe your dad gets up in her business if he thinks shes talking on the phone too much?
I mean, generally it’s because she will respond in like 6 hours, so it will be close to impossible to have an actual conversation with her.