Seriously. I’m asocial and depressed. Also, I like spending time with people and how they’re there for me when I need it, but I also have several mental illnesses and no empathy.
I’m not obligated to give you something back when you buy something for me. I want it, and you’re nice enough to get it for me. Why do I have to give you something back? I don’t know what you want. I can guess but I can’t really tune into other people that well.
And when people ask how I am, I just say “Fine”. Why do I have to ask how they are? They never told me to ask how they are, they asked how I was. Also, what’s so wrong with “Nothing/Nun” when they ask what I did? Genuinely, I didn’t do much, there’s nothing to talk about.
It also feels easier to talk to men because they don’t seem to compete with me or expect much from me, how can I fix that so I can talk to my own gender?
I believe truly having no empathy would make it impossible to form anything other than surface level friendships.
The only precious resource I own is my time, and who I spend it with. The thing in life that makes the hard times seem not so bad, and the good times twice as good, is spending with people I care about, and people that I know care about me.
To be pathological about it… My asking questions about you IS a means to an end. It gives a few useful things:
Talking about yourself is “giving” when only you share vulnerability. 1 word answers is keeping your guard up. Asking about them is “giving” because you get opportunities to learn about/support/uplift them. People like getting questions. It can make them feel cared for.
And I’m not saying anything is wrong with you. Just sharing my perspective.
And I’m a guy, so I guess you’d really be puzzled if we met IRL!