The stress of a divorce and the rising tide of fascism have caused me to seriously regress in self care skills over the past few years. I am currently struggling with eating/“meal planning.” I am intellectually capable of understanding what is necessary to grocery shop/plan out meals, and used to be able to do so, but am struggling with executive dysfunction to the point where I cannot.
For the past two years, my diet has been fast food, chips, beer and candy. I had a few “safe foods” - specific brands of frozen meals that were reliable, but of late they are not working. Eg, I have been lying on the floor for the past five hours feeling absolutely famished, have considered going to the refrigerator and making one of the frozen meals that is usually “safe” - and am utterly incapable of doing so. I don’t think I could even eat it if I made it.
I’m guessing this is autism - I’m guessing I’m autistic - but there has never been any means for me to be evaluated. I have talked to my therapist about this, and have not really found the advice helpful.
The most effective thing has been stocking up on things like lunchables to at least get calories in. Sometimes even lunchables will stop being “safe” though. It gets harder to function when I’m hungry, so I get caught in a loop of lying in bed hungrier and hungrier. I know I can’t live off of gas station pizza and Monster, but there have been days where that’s all I feel capable of eating.
I recently went to the doctor for the first time in 20 years (thanks obamacare!) And found that my blood pressure is extremely high. This is because I have eaten gas station pizza/rollerbites and monster coffee 300 almost every day for the past 5 years. I feel like I could have a heart attack any day now and I didn’t get anything for it. I’ve been drinking water and eating nothing at all, instead, and that is much healthier.
I don’t have safe foods, generally if it’s got cheese in it, it’s ok with me. I think you’re going through more of a depressive episode though. The cure for that is to exercise some control over your world. Making a delicious meal from scratch might solve two problems in that regard. Did you know you can make your own lunchables at home? They taste better :-)
Sorry about your divorce. I don’t know what more to say about that without knowing more detail… wouldn’t want to offend by assuming anything.