WINDER, GA—In the hours following a violent rampage in Georgia in which a lone attacker killed at least four individuals and injured nine others, citizens living in the only country where this kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Wednesday that there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place…
Merica sends their thoughts and prayers
Merica doesn’t actually give a shit either way. I’m surprised we aren’t keeping some kind of public score board with the names and body counts.
With the names of every republican lawmaker who refused common sense protections, and a total of how many schoolchildren, on average, each is responsible for murdering.
Oh, well that’s a list I’m okay with. 👍
The numbers are clear. On average, 1-2 mass shootings every single day.
Yeah, but like who is #1? Which state is #1? And where can I bet on the next mass shooting? If it’s not a game show by now, we are missing out on a billion dollar industry.
(Forgive my gallows humor)
Dumping antidepressants in the water is starting to look more and more effective as a mechanism for positive change in America.
Brave New World.
Do they publish this every time there’s a school shooting? Swear I’ve seen this before.
There is a wikipedia article about it.
They say it’s a recuring series and they are on number 37.
Yes. It does help drive the point home
37 times and counting. Part of the joke is that they just change a few words to localize each shooting, as no one has done anything at all to address the issue since they first published the original article in 2014.
Like the Daily Show, the Onion is being driven to actual journalism by the increasing absurdity of the world we live in.
