Woof…
That’s rough
Puppy girl core
That’s half of codependence?
Depends if the newly-formed habits persist whenever she lets up.
As long as they’re consenting adults I guess
Children need a parent, and some adults never pass that stage.
Not swearing is a big fuckin ask.
Yeah buy the advertisers don’t want to be associated with that language so he’s gotta censor it.
What does “sit like a man” mean ?
Don’t cross your legs ? 😅
There are different styles of crossing your legs. If you put one knee over the other, that style is often seen as feminine. Compare this with putting one ankle over the other knee (so the top leg is roughly flat) and that is seen as the masculine way.
I do both. Which one depends on the situation.
Lmfao what
One knee over the other is feminine? That’s fucking wild because I do it, my brother does it, my dad does it and my mom doesn’t.
Guess I better start wearing a kilt and “sitting like a real man” lmfao
It’s ridiculous and stupid, I know, but it comes from some pretty basic biology.
Depending upon size/thickness of a person’s thighs, it can be pretty impossible to put one knee over the other without squishing your dick and balls either on top of your legs or tucked underneath them. Wearing tight brief-style underwear, this can lead to situations where someone tries to cross their legs like this and inadvertently squishes their balls - a pretty uncomfortable circumstance in my own experience. Thus people with male genitalia (usually men) tend to prefer to cross their legs with the ankle over the knee to allow their genitals to ‘breathe’ and not be all squished up.
People with vaginas (usually women) in Western societies are also far more likely to wear skirts or dresses. In order to prevent someone having a peek at their underwear (or lack thereof) while wearing a skirt/dresses and sitting, these people are more likely to put one knee over the other.
Again, attempting to measure masculinity or femininity by this one preference is utterly stupid, but there are reasons why this behavioural pattern has become commonplace in Western societies. I (cis man) tend to do both in different circumstances; usually dependent upon weather, underwear and outer clothing I’m wearing.
It’s totally a thing, at least in public perception. For example, in Fortnite, there’s an emote called “Have a seat.” Here’s two of my skins doing it: https://i.ibb.co/Fb9BRS9J/IMG-20251109-155653-COLLAGE.jpg
Notice anything? Spike and Chun-Li do totally different animations because they have different gender presentations.
What the flip
Oh well just another thing that masculinity is wrong about.
It’s just about bone structure at the hips, it’s more comfortable for us to sit legs apart.
I don’t pay attention to be honest. But now I might
If projecting an air of masculinity is important to you, perhaps? There’s a lot of subtleties that we socially and often unnoticed project, just ask the trans community.
Ugh, yet another set of social norms to camouflage with.
Imagine being so insecure that you are worried about how you cross your legs when you sit. People are so fucking weird
Maybe just “good posture”?
Manspreading? I have no idea.
Some toxic bs like that.
Fake: anon has girlfriend Gay: motivated by sticks
On a serious note, having been that guy, this is the worst experience ever.
15 years of slowly being convinced being who I was, was wrong. 15 years of being told she was normal, what I wanted wasn’t. 15 years of isolation. 15 years brainwashing. 15 years of ever building self doubt.
Then she cheated on me.
Somehow I haven’t been in grippy socks yet. Pretty fucking close though with the outpatient stuff I do. Been on one date with someone else.
Could literally be me but 10 years instead of 15. I hope you’re doing so much better now and that many positive things come your way.
I was in it for 5 years. I wouldn’t have made it another decade. Glad you’re on the other side. I hope you can find your emotions, the ones that you have somewhere inside that really care for you in a way you haven’t felt all this time.
Also therapy if you can afford it and find one that clicks with you. It’s frustratingly helpful in that it doesn’t feel like you’re doing much but the reinforcement and structure is everything.
And definitely more dates!
I don’t get why relationships are such a hsrd requirement for people.
You can be blind to the problems you’re facing for a long time. For me it was a combination of her perpetuating abusive behaviors from her youth and me not understanding boundaries and my own avoidance. Outside of that it was right around 2020 so i had a lot of distractions and instability. It took me a long time to realize that the relationship had these problems.
My point is that taking so long to end it had to do with anything except a relationship being a requirement. I do want to be in a relationship but for intimacy, solidarity, vulnerability, company etc… The status doesn’t play into it at all.
If those don’t make sense to you then that’s just as normal. If you’re confused by them then look into aromanticism.
Nah, I have been AeroAce for a long time, I realized that I can’t really depend on other people, and that outside opinions don’t really matter.
I have notes specifically for what I think I did wrong, and will ask others as needed. Otherwise, time and energy are the only real limits.
EDIT: Specifically, I’m not AeroAce, I just see it as selfish desire that I’m not entitled to.
No one is entitled to another human being. Relationships are about mutual interest.
Exactly! And I see myself as especially unworthy of other people.
Fair. I just hope you find yourself worthy of your own self care, love, and respect.
I’m doing some particularly frequent therapy at the moment. Medication management, occupational stuff.
So far I’ve only met one person on the apps. So I’m working on finding stuff to go to to meet more people. It’s a small city, so kind of limited. Can’t move because of a kid. That makes it way harder to date too.
But one thing I’m trying to remind myself - I’ll be in my 40s when my son is 18. I figure I can probably really safely leave him at home way before that. So maybe in 5 years or so. I had a teacher in his 50’s marry another teacher in her late 20s (and they are still together 15 years later) so I’d say there’s still time.
Nice!
Yeah, and additionally, meeting other parents around school events can be good. There’s lots of time. Seems like you’re making the right moves. Best of luck!!!
There is a name for it: Narcissistic Abuse. Keep going, you’ll make it through. It gets better.
Big hugs, friend. You’re not alone out here. It gets better. Take your time.
Thank you. Knowing that others have recovered gives me some hope.
Been on one date with someone else.
Congrats ! 🎉
Each step, however small it may seem, away from this abusive person is a great one
Don’t look for the easy way out of your own maturity. Nobody can tell you who you are better than you. Look for someone who wants to build you up, not control you.
Hell yeah. Make it mutual too.
That’s beautiful
Something similar kinda happened to me. I was socially inactive. She was very social and regularly meeting up with friends and brought me along with her. I get on with her friends very well actually. She also encouraged me to arrange time so she can meet my friends, too. She really turned my life around. Then she was forced to leave the country because she couldn’t get a visa to stay, as the visa rules were tightened - despite her having a job and a master’s degree.
This happened to me too, not because she was nagging and shit like that, but because I started to feel good about myself, like myself even and became more confident and so I started to take care of myself.
I agree that if your partner really wants to build you up, that it can help getting honest feedback from your significant other; i have changed a lot of things to make living together work better. But the way anon describes it sounds insufferable and more like he likes being dominated; also, it can put you under constant stress if the demands are unreasonable or don’t respect your needs.
That’s just a sub.
I don’t need someone telling me not to be a slob to get things done, but having someone around all the time makes me more aware of my better behaviours and function better.
I don’t want my girlfriend to tell me how to do anything, I’m perfectly capable of managing by myself. But her input is appreciated.
